Q: Dear Simone, I’m fully aware that I’m absolutely addicted to my phone, which probably isn’t great. Any ideas as to how I can kick the habit? -Streaming in Senoia

A: Start with moderation. Just like with any other addiction, you need to slowly wean yourself off.

Here are a few great ways to start:

Follow the Two M’s: Set your phone aside during mornings and meals.

1. In the morning you want to start your day with a clear mind. Setting your phone aside can give you more time in the morning, so you can take a slower pace to getting ready. Your morning sets the tone for the rest of the day, if you start the day on your phone you’ll end it on your phone.  
2. When you set your phone aside for meals, you can enjoy your meals more. Doctors have also found if you are on your phone during meals you tend to overeat because you aren’t listening to your body’s cues. It also gives you time to engage with the people around you and give your brain a serotonin boost, which will help your body pull away from the addiction

No Blue Light at Night: Stop Looking at your Phone an Hour Before Bed

1. Being on your phone before bed can reduce melatonin levels. (Melatonin is the hormone your body produces to help you go to sleep.) When you are exposed to blue light, your brain holds off on producing melatonin and can hinder sleep because the light stimulates your brain. 
2. Sleeping with your phone in your room at night is also unhealthy, and studies have shown that people who sleep without their phone in their room are significantly happier than people who do. You could keep your phone in the hallway or living room. Get a lockbox for at night so you can fight the temptation, and if you get up to go grab it you don’t have access. 

Hobbies For Your Spare Time: Find Things that Interest You

There will be a withdrawal period where you’ll find yourself reaching for your phone in all the empty periods of space. Find something that you can fill your hands with instead of your phone like coloring or reading. Reach for a book or colored pencil every time you have the urge to pick up your phone. If you find something you enjoy, the next time serotonin is released in your brain it won’t be associated with being on your phone.

Good Luck!

Q: Dear Simone, I am 16 years old and single. I have some friends who are a little  too concerned about my love life. They regularly ask me if I’m dating or if I’ve found anyone who I’m interested in yet. I feel like I have to defend myself every time I’m not dating someone, and my friends don’t understand that when they bring this up it makes me feel like something is wrong with me just because I’m not in a relationship. How do I tell my friends they are being overbearing and hurting my feelings when they talk about this? – Flying Solo

A: It’s okay to be upset with these inappropriate and intrusive questions, but don’t let it bog you down. These friends may be focusing on you to take the heat off of themselves. Maybe they have felt pressure to jump into a relationship and now they’re unhappy, so they feel jealous that you are single and want you to be able to relate to them. Sometimes societal pressure is a factor, and because of this, people are unknowingly pressuring you. 

Present your feelings to them with an open mind. While your feelings may be hurt, if you come at them with an accusatory tone it will immediately put them on the defense. Communicate to your people that their questions make you feel that you have to defend being single. Explain that there is nothing wrong with you not being in a relationship, whether it’s your choice or not. Say you are comfortable with yourself, and you don’t need a partner to be a good friend to them. 

After the conversation, if you continue to be badgered by these questions, you might have to explore other options such as:

• Turn the Conversation on Them:
  • Ask how their relationship/relationship status is currently. Inquire about them and their partner and redirect them to talking about themselves. If they become hostile about you digging into their personal life, explain to them that you feel THE SAME way when they push about you. Use that situation to evoke understanding and empathy about what is happening to you. 

• Redirect the Conversation to Other Things: 
  • If you are friends with people, you usually have something in common with them. If you have found those things, choose to change the conversation over to something else. Choose a mutual interest that you can explore and make the conversation something that strengthens your friendship with said person/people. Changing the subject can redirect their thoughts and cause them to want to pursue new conversations with you, which can become long term and change what conversations your friends associate you with 

• Have Another Conversation, and Consider the Friendship:
  • If they continue to pester you, and you’ve had more than one conversation, have one final conversation. Tell them this is affecting your friendship and how you perceive them and yourself. Explain that if this continues to be a problem you don’t think you can move forward with that friendship. If you stress how important this is to you, it might change your friends perspective and priorities. After the final conversation, if they continue to bring up your relationship status, it could be time to distance yourself from the person/people. When the distance comes, one of two things will happen: you will drift apart, or they will finally understand. If the former is the case, you are probably better off if this person isn’t in your life.  

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